Bridezillas of the Zodiac
Astrology alerts you to each bride-to-be’s fatal flaws
It’s no surprise: planning that fairytale wedding can be less like a dream, and more of a drain! That’s why so many women find themselves taken over by a Dr. Hyde-esque persona: the wedding prep period can bring out the ugly and unleash anyone’s inner diva! As you approach wedding season, Astrology can give you a heads-up on the kind of surprises in store for you from the bride-to-be in your life.
Aries (March 21 to April 19)
The term “bridezilla” invokes a brash monster that will conquer entire cities without breaking a sweat. While this can describe the Warrior sign’s general M.O. when it comes to pursuing its goals, you’ll find your Aries lady’s approach to her upcoming wedding more impulsive than alienating. This Fire sign wants her perfect day to be a toned-down, casual affair, and since she’s not a huge fan of planning, she wants to get this project off the ground, quick! Be careful to respect her eclectic gift registry, however: if she says she wants power tools instead of a gravy boat, take her seriously!
Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
This earthy, touch-loving sign can be stubborn when it matters, and the Bull bride will fixate on one aspect of her wedding in particular: the food! This pleasure-seeking sign loves the sensual, sensory side of everything — the marathon rush-up to her wedding will be particularly enjoyable as she fills it with cake-tastings and catering company auditions, seeking the ultimate spread for her wedding banquet. And because Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty, the Bull won’t skimp on dÈcor, either!
Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
The “runaway bride” archetype is oh-so-Gemini. This energetic Air sign fixates on new information, then loses interest fast. She won’t mind doing her homework by reading up on offbeat wedding traditions — that is, until she’s distracted by a shiny object! This bride is only unbearable when it comes to getting things done — or keeping focused on which groom will be waiting for her at the altar! While other “bridezillas” of the zodiac might have a streak of the control freak in them, Gemini is the one who will need the help of her bridesmaids — and even the groomsmen! — to keep her on track and get her to the church on time.
Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
This sign of history and family demands that every distant relative, every elementary school teacher she’s ever had and even the gal who makes her morning coffee be invited to the big day! Even though Cancer is one of the most nurturing signs of the zodiac, she’ll realize that her wedding is one occasion where it’s ok to be a little selfish — and she’ll take this to the hilt! The Cancer bride won’t sign off on any detail of the wedding unless it reflects her personal tastes or has sentimental meaning for her and her fiancÈ. She may be starting a new family, so this is her personal rehearsal on how to be the ultimate matriarch!
Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)
The Lion sign is already quite at home in the spotlight, thank you very much, so she’s well-prepared for taking on the bridezilla role. A Leo bride generally views every day as her day already — she simply has a higher bling budget for this one! More than any other sign, the Leo bride will go overboard. It won’t matter that most of the wedding party will barely glimpse her shoes — she’ll want Swarvoski crystal detailing on the toe, at the very least! As long as she doesn’t break the bank before she throws the bouquet, her extravagance is mostly harmless. She’ll enjoy being the star, and when the big day is done, that famous Leo generosity will show through in her effusive thank-you notes.
Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
While Virgo is all about atmosphere and likes to control her surroundings, she is a surprisingly low-key bridezilla. That’s because this Earth sign prefers simplicity. The Virgo bride sees the understated elegance of stainless steel place-settings, and when she fills out her wedding registry, she’d prefer a washer-dryer combo over Waterford crystal wine glasses. Don’t be surprised if this service-oriented sign greets you as you arrive for the living room ceremony, even before she walks down the makeshift aisle!
Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)
In the zodiac, Libra is the hostess with the mostest, and her own wedding is the social affair to remember in her long career of party-throwing! Libra is second only to Leo in throwing the nuptial-planning into overdrive. She’ll make sure every detail of the day is perfect, and she’ll have plenty of time to do it: this glamorous sign may take at least a year simply shopping for her wedding dress. And even if her groom ditches out on the long engagement, Libra will still be sure to throw the party anyway!
Scorpio (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
This mysterious lady may surprise you with a last-minute invite to witness her exchange vows … with a man you may be meeting for the first time! Scorpio loves to have control, but her inner bridezilla will come out in subtle ways: she’ll probably spare you the agonizing details of wedding preparations, so you may show up to what you think is a cocktail party, only to be told you’re about to see the hostess getting hitched in a red dress! See, Scorpio prizes secrecy, so she sees little reason to include people on her plans until it’s time for them to show up.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
The Archer girl is the low-maintenance bridezilla of the zodiac. That’s because this adventure-loving sign will be more focused on a globetrotting honeymoon with her hubby than she will be on picking out table centerpieces. When this free bird sign decides to take the plunge, she’ll want to keep things flexible, so she’s just as likely to ask the captain of a cruise ship to marry her and her honey in international waters as she is to worry about a guest list. If she does decide to gather her near and dear to witness her nuptials, you can be sure the ceremony itself will be short and sweet and that the day will be all about the festivities that come after!
Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
Beware: this exacting sign will bring her business-savvy to the big day, making her the bridezilla to be reckoned with! “Control freak” hardly describes the Capricorn bride’s approach to scheduling out a day of romance: she’ll give any professional wedding planner a run for their money! The Capricorn bride will have all the latest wedding-related iPhone apps installed, and on the big day she’ll most likely issue the wedding party an itinerary (scheduled down to the minute) that leaves little room for delay. But for all her foresight, this bridezilla’s wedding won’t be cheap: this sign wants only the best, from the fabric of the bridesmaids’ dresses to the sterling roses that adorn each antique table at the reception.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
Aquarius is a bridezilla only because she’s all about doing things her way — and generally, that means scoffing at tradition. Aquarians typically have an alternative take on life-long commitment, with many of them preferring serial monogamy or sporadic relationships. But if the Water-Bearer does decide to walk the aisle, it will probably be on a whim, after several years of cohabitating with her partner — and their own children might serve as flower girl and ring-bearer! Or else she may wed her best pal when they both hit 40, to honor a decades-old promise they made to be each other’s permanent plus-one. In any event, the Aquarius lady will be bridezilla in insisting they do up the ceremony a little differently, and because she’s got her eye on the greater good, she’ll plan it so that every single guest has a day (or night!) to remember.
Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)
Calling all other signs of the zodiac: we need back-up! The starry-eyed Pisces bride is practically begging for a wedding planner — or a more organized friend (perhaps a Blackberry-toting Capricorn or a pragmatic Virgo?) to hold her hand and keep things real. The Pisces bridezilla isn’t demanding, she’s simply a little too in-tune with her dreams, and unfortunately, translating the fantasy wedding to (an affordable) reality isn’t the Fish sign’s strong point. Enlisting the fine eye of a Libra pal can help the glamour-loving Pisces bride settle on a dress she’ll be proud to glide down the aisle in, too.
Get even more insight into your bride-to-be pal’s personality with a FREE Cosmic Profile!