About What Manners Most

Thomas P. Farley is a manners expert, author and consultant who has been interviewed on matters of etiquette by the New York Times, USA Today, CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS, as well as on radio stations across the country. As the overseer of Town & Country‘s “Social Graces” column from 2000 to 2008, he helped that magazine’s readers grapple with topics as disparate as “Elevator Etiquette” and “Horrible Things People Do in Public.” His Town & Country anthology, Modern Manners: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Social Graces, published in 2005, went into multiple printings. He is also a featured contributor in the book The Experts Guide to Doing Things Faster (Clarkson Potter; 2008).

Farley created the blog What Manners Most as a check-up on rudeness perpetrated by individuals in the public eye. Even if the offending celebrities, wannabees and politicians don’t heed his advice, says Farley, his readers still take comfort in seeing these boldface names taken to task for their boorish behavior.

In addition to his writings and media appearances, Farley has been a guest lecturer at New York University’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies and has also done manners classes for schoolchildren. “It’s important for both adults and kids to know that being mannerly doesn’t entail memorizing long lists of rules,” he says. “It usually just means thinking twice before you act.” A popular presence on the Manhattan social scene, Farley is also the founder and host of New York Insider TV.

A graduate of New York’s Fordham University, Farley is presently at work on a new book that will address the tricky matter of tech etiquette-from BlackBerry use to Facebook quandaries. “Technology is advancing so rapidly that our manners simply can’t keep pace,” he explains. “And yet, as the general populace rushes forth to embrace each new gadget, only those who remember their manners will truly get ahead.”